I keep joking I am going to invent a curved selfie stick!

It Isn’t Easy to Take a Selfie of Your Ass

especially when you are not twenty
and the only way it looks good
is bent over, high in the air.

It’s all about the lighting and the angle,
which is also true of photographing necks
and faces and breasts and thighs,
everything actually.

Last St. Patrick’s day I tried-
a dozen pictures in a chartreuse
green lace thong,
thrust in the bathroom vanity,
while I contorted backwards.
Otherwise,
my backside looked like a whoopee cushion
already sat on.

I don’t think my lover would ever describe it that way.
Like when he points out he needs
to lose a few extra pounds
and all I can think about is
how aptly named love handles are
and when he thins out I miss them.

Perhaps photoshopping models and actors
isn’t so bad, the smoothing,
the erasing, the tuck and lift,

what love does.